Should I Uninvite People From My Wedding If They Aren't Taking COVID-19 Seriously?

One of the most complicated and sensitive parts of planning a wedding is figuring out the guest list. There are a lot of factors to consider, including the possibility that some people may feel offended if they don’t get an invite. Now add the COVID-19 pandemic to the equation and things get even more tricky. 

First of all, your guest list will have to be quite small, potentially significantly smaller than you originally intended for. And further, you’ll have to take into account that each additional person you invite poses an added health risk, especially if they’ve been blase about Coronavirus and exposing themselves to lots of strangers.

So what do you do if you’ve already invited somebody who isn’t taking COVID seriously? Is it okay to uninvite them from your wedding? Our answer is a resounding yes. Here’s why, and how you can do it.

COVID-19 Is Serious - So Is Your Wedding

Okay, it goes without saying that this pandemic is a big deal. If you didn’t think so, you wouldn’t be reading this article. But sometimes, when you get all caught up in the nitty-gritty of wedding planning and social obligation, it can be easy to forget that on the most basic level, who you do and don’t see during this time can be literally a matter of life and death.

Think about that.

When you put things into perspective that way, a little bit of interpersonal awkwardness with a relative or a loved one is much preferable to potentially causing the illness of yourself or somebody else.

Being uninvited from your wedding might just prove to be a wake-up call to your loved one about just how important and serious all of this really is, encouraging them to start taking Coronavirus precautions if they weren’t doing so before.

So if you’ve been uninvited from a wedding during the pandemic, maybe take better precaution and don’t go to parties and post about them on Instagram.

Uninviting With Tact

If you do decide to go forward with uninviting people from your wedding, the question becomes “how can you do so while being as minimally offensive as possible and not burning a bridge?”. Here are some of our tips.

Keep It Real

Bad news is much easier to swallow when it comes with a dose of honesty and compassion. Be empathetic and authentic when you talk to your uninvited guests. Explain to them how this decision was really difficult for you but ultimately felt like something you had no choice but to do in the name of protecting people.

Make it clear that you still care about this person and you hope to be able to celebrate your nuptials together sometime in the future, when we make it back to “normal” again, and that in the meantime you’re truly sorry for any offense and inconvenience. 

Just be sure to be true about it. Be optimistic with them, tell them that they have to scale back for the sake of the people there who could die because of someone else. A guest could be immunocompromised - and that one friend who parties at clubs still could be their literal cause of death.

Do it as Soon as Possible

Obviously, it’s a hard call to make, but the longer you wait to uninvite people who are making plans to come to your wedding, the more inconvenient things will be for them. So make it a priority to sit down with your partner as soon as possible and make all those hard decisions. Then take a deep breath and call up the relevant people. As a bonus, you’ll feel major relief once this is all over, so it’s better to get it out of the way now.

Have a Conversation

Uninviting someone from a wedding is best done personally - so make sure to call or text them, instead of sending out a mass email or having them find out from someone other than you. The bottom line being, of course, that you should give your loved ones the respect of breaking the news in conversation rather than through a text or an email. As much as you might want to, doing so in person is off the table for obvious reasons. So a video or phone call is a happy medium, allowing you to talk things out and answer questions and show you still do care.

Don’t worry: it all may seem terribly indecorous, but at the end of the day, this is the right decision to make in these weird times. Rest easy knowing you’re not the only engaged couple doing it. And in the future, you’ll be glad you did. Good luck.

Share Your Tips

If you’ve tactfully uninvited that one guy who is still out at the bars every weekend during the pandemic, share your tips in the comments below to help other readers come up with solutions for their success.